The following are excerpts from the stories of some of my past HOPE Ministries’ members. Their words describe the intense pain we all have felt, but as you can read, each one is so personal.
“I remember the day it finally registered. It was about three days after the doctor had shared those cold words. Suddenly, without warning, I began to weep. Then I began to wail. The cries gripped my whole body and seemed to erupt from some unknown place deep in my soul. I could not stop the wailing. My other two children looked on bewildered as I collapsed to the floor and just let my grief overtake me. How could this be? How did this baby’s life slip away from me? How could it hurt so much? My soul was bleeding.”
“For me night time was when I was most haunted. My daughter would be asleep, my husband would be playing video games, and I would be silently crying in bed. It was like the fingers of grief would creep from under my bed and take hold of me.”
“It was there, in my car, that I lost it. I was crying, screaming, throwing anything that I could reach. I felt like someone had reached in and ripped out my heart. How? Why? What do I tell the girls? I have never felt so sad and alone in my life.”
“So I hid behind a magazine until I was released to go home, where I could weep with impunity. And weep, I did. I screamed, I yelled, I thrashed about like a wounded animal until I could scarcely move anymore. And then I found myself on my knees. I said, “Here I am, God!! I AM ON MY KNEES!! I don’t know what you want from me, but I give up.”
Write your own story down including all the “hurts.” Later you can re-read it and see how far you have come in the grieving process.
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